2013年9月19日星期四

2013-09-19, You can take the nail out, but the hole will remain.

Someday, I was willing to return to the future. Suddenly, I felt that I was too young too simple. I was not understanding the damage we do to each other even after we made up. Some thing can never really be undone or unsaid, and although we may have not really meant it, it will always leave a scar on that person. When we get hurt or really disappointed, we build walls, slowly one we will not be able to get trough. "You can take the nail out, but the hole will remain."

This, definitely. Also because as our partner? Our friends? Our spouse? Especially after we've been together a long time. We know exactly what words we could say that would devastate them. And because they trust and love us, the worst insult from my hits that much more.

When we live with someone, we will know where the scars are, and just kow to make them worse, if only because we are careful about them worse, if only because we'ra careful about them in the first place.

Maybe, even we've made extensive apologies after doing some really damaging stuff, these will still be something that bring us to call the whole things off in the end.



Wish I could be more careful with my friends.

2013年9月8日星期日

2013-09-08, The way I have chosen

我应该如何选择去奋斗?

本来,我也想着,安安稳稳的度过一生,找个学校,平平淡淡,不高不低,日子也很和美。
我也想着,support一个女强人,她主外,我主内,我顾家。我还想着,若遇上好年景,趁着大环境,好好的生活一下。可阴差阳错,我选择了一条难以返回的路,我选择了独自前行,我选择了奋斗。

何为奋斗?奋斗,字典意是为了达到一定目的而努力干。 在我这里,就是一个目标,这个目标并不是一个单纯的目标,它被拆解成了许许多多的子集,从而,目标就像上台阶一样,有很多的“步骤”,通过这些个“步骤”,一步步努力,最后达到最终的目的,这个过程,称之奋斗。


为何要奋斗?当我在这个城市生活久了,我就慢慢发现,虽然这个城市充满包容,但机会对每个人不是均等,如果不会争取,甚至连机会的面也见不到。对这个城市而言,我是一个新人,我是来竞争的,我是来争抢他们的资源的,我是来抢土著饭碗的,我不得不奋进,我需要奋斗。况且,我也热爱我的职业,所以,我更需要为之燃烧我的青春。

在哪儿奋斗?我选择了一条路,一条我的祖辈们梦想过,却从没实践过的路。在这片常常出现在电视中,熟悉而陌生的土地上,我选择耕耘下我的一片天地,在这儿安身立命。

是谁在奋斗?我想好了我是谁,我是一个平凡的人,但我并不愚蠢。我有能力把生活工作规划的井井有条,我有能力去获得事业上的目标。并且,我不是一个人,我的背后有我的家人在坚定的支持,在这有限的生命中,青春不燃烧,就浪费了。

何时去奋斗?从现在起,到今后的十年、二十年,乃至更加长远,我没法停下前进的步伐,奋斗是一个长长的过程。目标已经被拆解成一个个小的步骤,这些步骤,有的清晰,有的容易走歪,在不停的修正人生路线过程中,奋斗不能停止。也许,一时两刻的休息,将酿成不可挽回的损伤。

 已经很久没有静下心来细细思考了。工作越来越忙,但似乎没有引导到正确的路上。每天拆东墙补西墙,对于工作上的差事,疲于应付,对于自己的成长,却无力规划。虽然,在这过程中,也会有一定的成长,但这成长和我的规划,是否能保持同步,未可知。使用可怜的胶片间隙想出来的方案,是不成熟的,不合目标的。况且,掌握的信息不全时,就那点信息还甚至会引导人去往错误的方向。长此以往,目光短浅,纠结成性,琐碎失落,情绪无常,疲于应付。

I have chosen a way. I will not give up until I quit. I will reward myself by give myself a gift.
是时候起跑,并继续探索了。